Setting Boundaries: 101
Hello lovelies,
Ready to elevate your social game to the next level? It’s time to discuss setting healthy boundaries to be in your ultimate power. Whether navigating an intense friend group or simply trying to gain some sanity in the chaos of everyday life, knowing how to set boundaries is the ultimate power move. Amidst life’s chaos, the one thing that separates the elite from the wannabes is the ability to set boundaries and command respect. When you know your worth, you set the standard for yourself and how others treat you. Insecure people will hate this aspect about you because they cannot get to this level themselves. The people who belittle you, who offer “fake” congrats hinted with jealousy, and who talk about others behind their backs are talking about you, too. These people are unhappy with themselves and often have difficulty respecting other people’s boundaries. It’s important to recognize when people are for you and against you. My readers, if people can’t acknowledge that life happens and something may come up and cause significant issues, they are not for you.
The Art of Boundary Setting
Define your territory: To set healthy boundaries, clearly define your non-negotiables. What behaviors or interactions are off-limits? Can you recognize when someone is disrespecting your boundaries? Do your friends comprehend and understand your “no”? Having blurred boundaries is the gateway to people-pleasing behavior. Establishing boundaries wherever you’re in life is essential, and the people who respect them are there for you.
Know your worth: This stems down to self-esteem—how you view yourself directly mirrors how others view you. Setting boundaries is about recognizing your value and refusing to settle for anything less. Whether demanding respect in relationships or asserting your needs in the workplace, know your worth and don’t be afraid to claim it. Always choose distance over disrespect- your future self will thank you.
Send the right signals: Ensure your boundaries are communicated and consistent. People play games when boundaries are blurred and constantly test your limits to see how much they can push your buttons. If people continuously try to peer pressure you to do things even after you say no, these are not your people and do not have your best interest at heart. Remove yourself from groups like these or unfriend people who possess these traits.
Protect your peace: Your peace is sacred to you. Setting boundaries is about protecting your peace at all costs. Whether cutting toxic relationships out of your lie or creating a VIP list for your inner circle, prioritize your well-being and happiness above all else; in the wise words of Taylor Swift, haters are going to hate, hate, hate. So, let them.
Enforce with elegance: Be kind and genuine when setting boundaries. If people can't respect your “no” even when you’re firm about it, they will disrespect your boundaries and not respect you. Move through these situations with class and grace. Insecure people will get upset and feel specific ways because they disrespect you. The real ones will know the difference between classy and classless people.
Respect others’ boundaries: Just as you expect others to respect your boundaries, respecting theirs in return is essential. Whether giving someone space when they need it or honoring their wishes in social situations, be mindful of what other people may be going through and treat others the way you want to be treated.
Stay lavish: Setting boundaries isn’t always easy—it can be uncomfortable and nerve-wracking, and other people may have opinions about it. But remember, never apologize for prioritizing your well-being. You must be your greatest advocate in a world where everyone’s out for themselves.
Learn all aspects of boundary setting with proven ways and examples in the Muse is You e-book.
How to Recognize When People are Disrespecting Your Boundaries and When to Walk Away
Ignoring your requests: If someone consistently disregards your requests or repeatedly crosses lines you’ve communicated, it indicates boundary disrespect. This could include repeatedly borrowing your belongings without asking, dismissing your preferences, or being unable to accept your “no.” If people constantly disregard your “no” and you eventually give in, then you’ve given them the power and allowed them to blur your boundaries' lines. In doing so, you tolerate situations in which you have no business. It’s essential to be firm and recognize that people who disrespect your boundaries have no respect for you as a person, and a relationship like this is unhealthy and toxic.
Pressuring you to do things: When someone pressures you to do things you’re uncomfortable with or have explicitly said no to, it violates your boundaries. This could manifest as peer pressure to engage in activities you don’t want to participate in, manipulation to get you to change your mind, or coercion to comply with their wishes against your will. If you give in or tolerate this behavior, these people are conditioned to recognize that your boundaries are not firm. Doing what’s best for you is essential, even if people get upset. Ultimately, you need to be your advocate and do what’s best for you, even if it upsets some people.
Invalidating your feelings: Disrespecting boundaries can also invalidate your feelings or experiences. This may look like belittling your emotions, gaslighting you by denying you reality, or minimizing the impact of their actions on you. It’s essential to recognize that your feelings are valid, and you can express them without being dismissed or invalidated. If people invalidate your feelings, these people are gaslighters and have no respect for how you feel. These people do not have respect for you and are not your real friends. Always choose distance over disrespect.
Using guilt or manipulation: Guilt-tripping, manipulation, or emotional blackmail are tactics often used to override boundaries and coerce compliance. If someone uses these tactics to make you feel guilty or obligated to meet their needs at the expense of your well-being, it’s a sign of boundary disrespect. This is ultimately disrespecting yourself and can have detrimental effects on your self-esteem. It’s essential to remove these types of people from your life ASAP.
Combat negativity and other people’s toxic energy by practicing gratitude with the Gratitude Collection.
Remember, insecure people will always try to bring you to their level, and these are the people you need to watch out for. Walking away from situations that no longer serve your greater good is uncomfortable, sad, and enlightening because better things are coming for you. Remove toxic people who do not respect your boundaries to vibrate at a higher energetic frequency to attract your soul tribe.
